To me, what is genuine and what is not really depends on the mindset. Genuineness in what you say and what you do is one of the most important principles in my life. I feel all uneasy if I say or do something ingenuine.
What I consider a genuine action: If you do something for another person simply because you feel a desire to do it, and in doing so will make the other person happier (or at least tune their stress down a bit), and you do not expect anything in return. If you had to be told to do something, then the action wouldn't be very genuine: you don't have to be told what to do if it comes from the heart.
So if you're doing it just because:
1)You want to "leave a mark" so the other person can't complain "you never done this, you never done that"
2)You're doing it out of duty
3)You want to be praised/treated even better
4)You want to make yourself feel better (less guilty)... and you don't even take into account whether what you're doing is actually good for the other person (eg. like forcing food into their mouth)
Then your effort won't necessarily be appreciated, as this can be quite easily picked up by the other person.
Sometimes it is actually better not to do anything, than do an ingenuine action. An ingenuine action only adds distress to both sides: you don't feel like doing it so you feel pretty pissed off... Later on if you use it as your weapon in arguments and complain to the other person "I did this and I did that", this adds to the other person's distress too.
Not everyone is born with the blessing of having a lot of love coming from their hearts. I certainly don't, and one of the main principles of my life is, I’d rather not do anything than do something ingenuine. All one can do is pray to God for this.
What I consider a genuine action: If you do something for another person simply because you feel a desire to do it, and in doing so will make the other person happier (or at least tune their stress down a bit), and you do not expect anything in return. If you had to be told to do something, then the action wouldn't be very genuine: you don't have to be told what to do if it comes from the heart.
So if you're doing it just because:
1)You want to "leave a mark" so the other person can't complain "you never done this, you never done that"
2)You're doing it out of duty
3)You want to be praised/treated even better
4)You want to make yourself feel better (less guilty)... and you don't even take into account whether what you're doing is actually good for the other person (eg. like forcing food into their mouth)
Then your effort won't necessarily be appreciated, as this can be quite easily picked up by the other person.
Sometimes it is actually better not to do anything, than do an ingenuine action. An ingenuine action only adds distress to both sides: you don't feel like doing it so you feel pretty pissed off... Later on if you use it as your weapon in arguments and complain to the other person "I did this and I did that", this adds to the other person's distress too.
Not everyone is born with the blessing of having a lot of love coming from their hearts. I certainly don't, and one of the main principles of my life is, I’d rather not do anything than do something ingenuine. All one can do is pray to God for this.
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