問候的動機出自於關心造就人嗎?還是只是收集更多八卦資料為要增加與其他人閒談的話題?為了搜窺對自己有利益的資訊?與對方比較? 有關係就沒關係，沒關係就有關係。關係不夠的，還是先打好一些基本的友誼根基和尊敬吧。關係夠時，對方自然會跟你分享自己的內心世界。有時候也需要學習克制自己，不要去把自己不熟悉的人當作話題來聊，因為有時候我們以為自己在狀況內，但其實我們的解讀是扭曲的，完全在狀況外的。藉此提醒一下自己多運用THINK principle.
Before we speak to someone, sometimes we need to review ourselves to see if our greetings and chit chat is out of a caring constructive motive for that person, or just data gathering process for gossiping with other friends. For those we are not too familiar with, it’s probably best to apply the THINK principle and first build some basic foundations in friendship and mutual respect. When the foundation in the friendship is strong enough, the other person will naturally share his/her own inner world with you. Have to learn to refrain from talking about people whom I am not familiar with, because although we may think we understand the situation, but we may in fact be interpreting judgmentally with distortion, and be totally out of touch with reality.
T: is it True? 是真的嗎?
H: is it Helpful? 是有幫助的嗎?
I: is it Inspirational? 有鼓勵到人嗎?
N: is it Necessary? 是否有必要?
K: is it Kind? 是善意的嗎?
小心不要變成愛講人閒話的人
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
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